Bastard Review Song

On Tuesday my good friend Neil told me about an idea of his to make Zero Punctuation style reviews of the plays we would see as members of DIT Drama.
I was quite taken with this idea and in this shower this morning (A great deal of my ideas arrive in the shower... typically the only place I cant use a notebook or a tape recorder) I had an idea for song.
In order to keep the song structured and in my head I continued to sing it to myself for the next half-hour. So if anyone asks... that is my excuse.

Anyway this should be sung in a loud and verbose manner, possibly accompanied by a piano.
It's times like this I wish I had given a crap when I was taking piano lessons*.

Bastard Review
Before
It's just another crazy bastard review!
Find out what those crazy bastards, think of you!
In yet another crazy, BAS-TARD REV-IEW!

After
That was a crazy, bastard review.
Just another crazy bastard review.
Oh please mother, don't make me watch another...
BAS-TARD RE-VIEW!

I hope we get to use it.
-ANkh


*It's an odd fact that I was never interested in art or drawing anything until well after people stopped trying to teach it to me, the same with music.