First Kiss

We danced slowly, I am naturally uncomfortable with dancing so I was very relieved to find her a willing and capable lead. I followed her as we gently moved from side to side.
I did my best to pick up any other mannerisms, like looks and gestures: if she looked down and to her left I looked down and two my right. I immediately drew the comparison to 'looks' from Zoolander.
After a while I stopped clowning around... I was distracted by the smile which had bloomed on my partners face.
I noticed that she was much, much closer than she had been when we started dancing. I wanted to know that she was on board with us kissing (part of why I enjoy being drunk is that I stop worrying about this stuff) so while doing my best to keep the slow beat of the song I looked in her eyes and notified her that we had been moving closer together.
She insisted that I had been the one moving closer to her but I still held it was mutual. I told her that 'regardless of the cause we will meet in...' and I trailed off, I had no idea how long we were dancing, when did we start? How far apart were we then? What distance had we covered so far? In the end I decided there were simply too many variables so I chose an arbitrary number that would give her time to laugh at this outlandish statement and resume dancing in time to steadily lean in and kiss before the song ended.
'thirty or forty seconds' I said immediately regretting it, it suddenly sounded like an eternity. But before I knew it we were locked in a tight embrace on a dance floor kissing in a somewhat melodramatic way.
It was a truly excellent first kiss.

-ANkh

Bastard Review Song

On Tuesday my good friend Neil told me about an idea of his to make Zero Punctuation style reviews of the plays we would see as members of DIT Drama.
I was quite taken with this idea and in this shower this morning (A great deal of my ideas arrive in the shower... typically the only place I cant use a notebook or a tape recorder) I had an idea for song.
In order to keep the song structured and in my head I continued to sing it to myself for the next half-hour. So if anyone asks... that is my excuse.

Anyway this should be sung in a loud and verbose manner, possibly accompanied by a piano.
It's times like this I wish I had given a crap when I was taking piano lessons*.

Bastard Review
Before
It's just another crazy bastard review!
Find out what those crazy bastards, think of you!
In yet another crazy, BAS-TARD REV-IEW!

After
That was a crazy, bastard review.
Just another crazy bastard review.
Oh please mother, don't make me watch another...
BAS-TARD RE-VIEW!

I hope we get to use it.
-ANkh


*It's an odd fact that I was never interested in art or drawing anything until well after people stopped trying to teach it to me, the same with music.